Feature Article

Every year there are several dances at Eastview, prom and homecoming being the most popular, and every year countless boys think and strain themselves to come up with original ideas to ask their girls of interest. But has asking the girl always been as big of a production as today’s teens make it? Or was there ever a point in time in which asking out a girl to a dance wasn’t as in depth? I myself, being a guy, have often wondered at what point in time asking a girl to a dance got to be so ridiculous. But if I’ve learned one thing from high school events, it’s how to ask a girl to one of these dances, and for any prospective underclassmen out there, this article will help a lot.
It all starts out how any good plan does, preparation. Every fall and spring I put money aside and gather supplies for this big event that was incredibly foreign to me all throughout middle school. My parents observe this process with curiosity, especially my dad.
“Why don’t you just walk up to her and ask her,” he’ll question, “If you guys already know you’re going together, why do you have to go through all the hoops to ask her?”
Every single time I think to myself, “good question dad.” I’m not saying that I don’t like doing something nice and thoughtful for my girlfriend, but just simply wondering how this whole idea of the elaborate method of asking became the norm amongst my peers.
First we should start off by examining why girls would want a boy to ask them in a time consuming, surprising way. Obviously, if a boy puts enough time into asking a girl to a dance and it’s apparent he did a very nice job, it shows the girl that he wanted to go with her so bad that he was willing to sacrifice his time and money. This goes on to make the girl feel special and important in his life, going along with the basic human psychological needs of belonging and love.
Being creative and doing a nice job also helps to ward off any other notion that she should be going with a different person. I mean… how could she say no to you if you woke up at 3 in the morning and stuck a thousand plastic forks in her yard spelling out “prom?” and the other guy simply wrote on her car window with a paint pen? Creativity is appreciated because it helps weed out the competition. No longer is it a surprise if you get asked in a really weird way, it’s actually expected.
Probably one of the most fundamental things to understand when talking about this is plain and simple, girls love to gossip. Not only do they love to gossip, but they love to compare themselves to everyone else and everyone else to themselves. I’ve had firsthand experience throughout my life with this gender trait, from my sister, girlfriend and mostly girl neighbors. When you (guys) ask a girl to homecoming or prom in a creative way, it gives them something to bring up in conversation with their girl friends. It also gives them something to compare other friend’s relationships to hers. Just think of it like, the more proudly and confidently she can tell her friends about the way you asked her, the better. It’s awfully hard for her to proudly tell her friends that she was asked the same way every other girl has ever been asked, with a little message written on her car in paint pen.
What will make your method of asking the girl to homecoming or prom the best is customizing it to fit her specific expectations. Now this can be challenging if you haven’t really been involved with her for long or… ever, but if you’ve been in a relationship with this girl for a while, it would help to find something personal you’ve shared and use it. I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for almost a year and one month now and over this period of time we’ve found this spot next to the Mississippi river in west Saint Paul. The first time we went there I carved our names into the side of a cliff wall, and this year for prom I carved out the date we started dating along with a giant “prom?” in the wall as well. She was so happy with the way that I asked her because it was personalized. Absolutely no other person at prom will have a similar way to mine.
Although asking a girl to dance has evolved from simply walking up to her in the hall and popping the question, to forking and car paint, there is still hope for the not-so-thoughtful-or-romantic guy. It’s important to see why the asking game has changed, and if you poor underclassmen guys out there follow my advice, you’ll have no problem dealing with the next steps in the evolution of this yearly process.